Dear Grains: It's over.

And white potatoes and refined sugar, listen up.

I'm done. I'm breaking up with you.

I've had it with the blood sugar swings (and accompanying mood swings), the sluggishness, the belly fat I can't get rid of despite obsessive calorie counting, and the mid-day slump.

I want to be able to think and behave like a rational, sane human being when I'm hungry.

You're right, we'll probably have a fling every now and then, but you're not moving back in, so don't try to tempt me with your comforting sweetness. I'll get my comfort elsewhere.

Pasta, you know I'll miss you most of all, but I just can't take it anymore. Good-bye.

(Note to readers: I'm not "doing" Atkins, or South Beach, or Paleo, or anything else in particular... for now I'm just getting rid of the foods that I already know cause me problems and eating pretty much whatever I want otherwise.)