Since I learned my whole form, and didn’t barf or fall down from exhaustion, I consider last night a success. And I’m less sore today than I was yesterday.
I was surprised, many months ago, to discover how political TKD is, but now that I think about it I realize I shouldn’t be surprised at all. There is a considerable amount of politics involved in any large organization, and there aren’t any more or less in ours than any other. And even more should be expected in an organization with military origins, a particular hierarchy, and rules for conduct; especially when there is so much room to move within the hierarchy.
The constant shifting of rank and titles, especially in individual schools and the more local parts of the organization, creates an interesting social situation. If you aren’t constantly moving forward, people with less experience can easily pass you. I’m in that situation now, where because of my own long and winding journey, I have to defer to people who started studying martial arts after I did. I have to watch them get their black belts, and know that I’m still nearly a year away, and I can’t tell you how frustrating that is. It takes an effort of will to swallow my pride and take direction from someone who is younger both in years and in the sport, and know that I should because they outrank me. But just like in the rest of life, you can’t stand still. You’re either moving forward or you’re falling back.
This rank camp (and hopefully I’ll have an opportunity to do another one in six months) will help a little bit in catching up, but the sting of watching others pass me by is unavoidable at this point. This is what makes my journey mine. Every delay, every injury, every mental and emotional hurdle I have to jump will make my black belt that much more meaningful.
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